You see a parent physically disciplining a child on a crowded subway. You and other passengers stare, but no one says a word. The child is crying and the parent appears to get even angrier. They hit the child again. And again. You speak up.... What next?This was the scenario written about in a recent City Room post (New York Times). I posed the question to some friends. The replies were diverse, insightful, enlightening and made for more questions than answers. Personally, I have thought about this issue so much since reading this article and discussing it with colleagues and friends. I continue to debate what the correct course of action would be. I'm sure this has happened on DC, Virginia and Maryland buses, trains, at stores, on sidewalks, and in other public places. What would I do if I came upon this? What would you do? And why?
6 comments:
I went to a self defense training once where the instructor suggested that when you see this, you compliment the child. Tell the parent/caregiver something nice about the child (That you like their hairdo, they have great shoes, etc.) It seems to disarm them and make them see the child in a more positive light.
Very timely. I saw someone at a bus stop just yesterday smacking the hand of their sweet-looking little girl who didn't appear to be doing anything at all and I wondered, yet again, what's the right thing to do.
Oh, I just read the first line of the NY Times article and that kid appeared to be about 4. The one I saw yesterday I guessed to be about 4.
the discussion on jezebel.com was really great...so many perspectives. i always have a problem when i see parents verbally "disciplining" their children on public transportation but haven't seen any physical abuse...if i did i would think i would intervene.
"I have thought about this issue so much."
Please, please just kill yourself.
I'm from a slightly different cultural background, but I lived in DC for 10 years. Spanking children--when done out of a desire to instill discipline and not to take out one's anger on the child--was part of my upbringing. Indeed, you'd get a smack to the butt if someone from your parent's generation (not just relatives) caught you doing something wrong. It's the "takes a village to raise a child" approach and I'm glad I got that discipline as a child (although my parents hardly ever spanked us). Of course, it's different here. It's called child abuse. Go figure.
Undoubtedly, a lot of those parents you see handing out corporal punishment on the metro are not-so-great parents. I'd advise you leave those parents alone, even if you think complementing their hairdo will improve the situation; it might actually embarrass that parent and he/she will take out their frustrations on the child. It's not being cowardly: it's putting the child's interests above your desire to feel good about yourself.
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