Inauguration Rental Shenanigans

Among the phenomena related to last week's Presidential election is this: Washington area condo and home owners are now somehow convinced that the world is ready to shell out tens of thousands to be in DC for the Inauguration. Yes, I know, I know--its historic, there are limited hotel rooms and money is no object to some people. However, will even a small percentage of these people really get the thousands of dollars of which they are asking?

I wanted to see what was being offered and how ridiculous people could get in the name of providing a room for a fee. Here are some of the most interesting inauguration rental offers I have found. I based my listing on how loudly and long I laughed after first reading the posts.:...

$40000 / 1br - Loft Style Luxury Condo for Rent during Inauguration week (Jan. 17-22) (DuPont Circle): This inauguration rental requires a $10,000 deposit. Its in the DeSoto, a newish building across from Whole Foods on P Street, near Dupont. One bedrooms here normally rent for about $2,500 a month. At $10,000 per night this a 12,000% increase over the normal rent. Ouch.

$75000 / 2br - Inauguration Special - Entire Week - First Come (Bethesda): This entry amused me for a few reasons. 1.) So little information is offered: I'd like to know a lot more before I called about a $75,000 one week investment. 2.) Apparently its in a "building primarily used for low-income housing." Gives new meaning to the term buy low sell high. And 3.) Like many other entries the author takes liberties with lines like "a stone's throw away from all the DC action," when this place is adjacent to NIH-Medical Center.

$250 1 Bedroom plus Den for Inauguration Week (Mt. Pleasant): This one was is one of several offers out of Mt Pleasant. Its really not that remarkable. Some listings for Mt Pleasant were vastly overpriced and stretched some of the facts, but this one actually seems reasonable, relative to the rest. Still more than I would normally pay for a night at a decent hotel.

$2200 / 3br - Luxury condo during Inauguration week -- walk to balls, dining, Metro (Dupont/Kalorama): I'm sorry, but there is no house or apartment which is both "a block from the Washington Hilton" and "a 10-minute walk from the Omni Shoreham Hotel." Equally questionable is the statement that this house is "a 5-minute walk to both the Dupont Circle Metro and the Woodley Park/Adams-Morgan Metro;" maybe one, but not the other. Many of the posts have little white lies similar to this one. On the face, not that egregious of an exaggeration, but the little things matter at such high prices. This place is $2200 per night.

$5000 / 4br -Inauguration Rental Just 2 Stoplights to DC! (McLean): Again, this is one of the misleading entries. I mapped the route out, and its true! One could get to DC, stopping at only two traffic lights, both on Glebe Road. The author forgets to mention that you'd then have to travel an additional 7+ miles from Chain Bridge to downtown DC. That includes the countless traffic lights in Kent, the Palisades, Burleith, Georgetown, Foggy Bottom, West End, GWU, the National Mall and SW/Federal Center on the way to the Capitol Building.

$10000 Upscale Apartment for Inaugural Week (Wash DC (5 mins from)): This is one of the many entries which promises accommodations that are "5 minutes from..." everything. This apartment is even 5 minutes from "Regan" Airport and the Convention Center, which I learned is "on both blue and yellow metro lines..."

$188000 / 3br - Quaint, Luxurious Inauguration House - Early Bird Special -Furnished (Damascus, MD): OK, I wasn't sure if this price was for buying the house outright, or for renting it during the inauguration. It features amenities such as "dial-up internet service" (hello, 1992? dial up!?), a "quaint" gravel driveway, but no refrigerator (its "down"). And its 25 miles outside the beltway! Perhaps there was a typo and the owner meant to offer it at $188 for the week.

Oh goodness, I could go on and on and on. This is fascinating! Its like a dam broke and all these want-to-be capitalist entrepreneurs spilled out. Don't believe the hype people! No one is paying ten grand to rent your worn out townhouse in Bowie! A $3,000 security deposit on a five night rental is absurd! I don't even smoke, but for $2,000 a night you bet I want to light up in your house and do whatever else makes me happy.

I love it, all these fools saw some news story and thought they could get a piece of the action. Fantastic. More comedy for me I guess. Keep it coming DC home owners, keep it coming.

Foul Ball

Oh jeez. Who knew that we'd look back on 2005 as the glory days of the Washington Nationals. How did a feel good story like this transform into an ugly rent strike putting millions (no, billions) of dollars in political limbo.

See, I love baseball, and I'm trying to love the Nationals. I bought a season ticket plan. I supported the new stadium, drawing the ire of 99% of my friends and neighbors. I follow the players, cheering for them when others in the stadium boo mediocre performances. I talk the stadium and team up to my out of town friends. I spend $$$ on the limited vegan food options, but great beer selection at the field.

I stand by when the team lets good players like Ryan Church, and Alfonso Soriano walk out the door. I stand by when they virtually fire the only manager who guided us into first place and gave us our best year-end record. And I marveled when the design-build stadium (yes, a city project) was completed on time, in a record 18 months, and relatively on budget, in time for the big show on March 30, 2008. I there with 40,000 of my closest friends. The Nationals (and the owners, the Lerner family) were made to look competent and ready for a national TV audience, in large part because of the city.

Somehow, all the good will press conferences and dirt shoveling ceremonies of 2005 are distant memories. In a city struggling to find good teachers, honest municipal workers, viable small businesses, and home ownership options for normal people, it's reprehensible and quite disgusting that the team owners are withholding the $3,500,000 in rent from the city. The Nationals claim that the ballpark was not "substantially" complete on opening night, but I have to disagree as a paying customer who explored most of the "substantial" parts of the park that night; and for 15 or so subsequent nights since. At the center of the dispute are team offices that were kept at RFK while the new offices adjacent to the field at the new stadium were being finished.

The term "over a barrel" comes to mind. Not only did the Nationals get a $611,000,000 million dollar, on time, fastest ever built stadium from the city, they got it without having to live up to any future performance evaluations or quality control. Now they refuse to pay rent and want to fine the city $100,000 per day for the "unfinished" stadium to boot. And for the fans, its really too bad. With $325.00 seats, $40.00 valet parking and rumors that we'll be going to see Nationals games at ExxonMobile Field in 2009, some are grumbling that the city should lock the team out of the stadium until the cough up the rent. Just think, we could go undefeated at home for the rest of the year.