Sunday, October 14, 2007

Save Your Quarters or the Terrorists Win

Gone are the days when we could level the term terrorist on an actual person, or group of particular persons, or at the very least a broad range of people, say men with beards, or red headed bar tenders. But now we've reached a new low. Lower than the production of the show "Cavemen." Lower than the LA Times actually publishing a serious article entitled "Tips on Getting 'Hannah Montana' Tickets."

So, how far have we fallen (for now)? A New Jersey mayor has identified the newest terror threat: Gumball Machines. Yes, the next time you visit Burritos Fast and even THINK about getting the sour apple gumball from the machine while waiting in line for your food, THINK AGAIN. It could be a receptacle for POISON. Forget worrying about whether or not you're going to get the red one or the dreaded yellow one. You might get POISONED BY TERRORISTS the next time you get a sweet tooth. Crimony. Come one people. Is nothing sacred? First we lose our right to have moisturized hands on an airplane and now this? What is there left to live for? I guess as long as they don't get fireballs. And chiclets. They can have the candy corn. Disgusting...